Overheard in the Catering Line

Gaffer: “The guys are complaining that they’re only getting ten hours, but when we’re working fourteen, sixteen hours, they’ll coplain then, too.”

Best Boy: “Don’t worry about the crew… until they stop complaining.”

This was accompanied by a meaningful look, to which the Gaffer nodded slyly.

I’m not certain, but I may have just witnessed the birth of the Revolution.

Overheard in the Catering Line

Gaffer: “The guys are complaining that they’re only getting ten hours, but when we’re working fourteen, sixteen hours, they’ll coplain then, too.”

Best Boy: “Don’t worry about the crew… until they stop complaining.”

This was accompanied by a meaningful look, to which the Gaffer nodded slyly.

I’m not certain, but I may have just witnessed the birth of the Revolution.

Words, Words, Words

I don’t like music very much. This is a strange thing to say, but it’s true. I don’t get the notion of just listening. Which is unfortunate, because there’s not much else to do when you’re driving.

I listen to NPR a lot, but it starts to remind me how pathetic my life is when I hear the same story three times in one day. (KPCC plays the same news at 6:00, 8:00, and 4:00, and oh my God, I can’t believe I know that.)

Sometimes I switch between KFI and Air America, to see whether my right ear or my left will bleed first.

Then it occurred to me that audio books might be the solution. I never feel like I’m reading enough, anyway. (Or perhaps I’m reading too much; there’s five books piled on my nightstand at various degrees of completion).

So, I went to the library to see if anything caught my fancy. I wound up with Machiavelli’s The Prince and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, by David Sedaris. I’d heard so much about both authors that I figured now would be the perfect time to give them a try.

I’m four discs into Dress Your Family, and I’m loving it. It’s amusingly droll (I won’t abuse the word “funny,” like so many other Prius-driving, latte-sipping, NPR-listening academics do), and a startlingly accurate portrayal of American family life.

I know there’s no way I could be 80% through the book without the magic of the compact disc, and I’m really happy for the experience. The only problem is, I now know for a fact how much time I spend in the car. In two days, I’ve heard four hours worth of David Sedaris. That can’t be healthy.

Still, I recommend it to all you poor PAs out there, stuck on the 405 listening to KROQ play “Everlong” for the four hundredth time.

There’s Always Someone Below You

I went on a run today, to pick up something for the Big Awesome Show I work for.

I went to the will-call window, and the guy’s eyes lit up. “You’re a PA on Big Awesome Show? How did you land that job?”

I couldn’t really say. It was just a combination of experience, networking, and luck, the same combination that led me to Big Dumb Gameshow and Shitty Scripted Show That Got Canceled After Five Episodes.

It’s sobering to realize that, despite being the low man on the totem pole, there’s someone who actually wants my job.

 

Guess which one's me.

 

 

On the other hand, I accidentally hung up on the Big Awesome Star of the Big Awesome Show, so there may be an opening sooner than expected.

- – -

In other news, JJ Abrams talked to io9 about my new favorite Star Trek character, Flarey.

Game Show Casting

A few people responded to last week’s post about casting.  One reader called himself “Max Powers.”

My readership.

Max writes:

There is a large difference between game show casting and actual show casting. For a real show you have to find actors who fit into parts, coordinate their look if casting a family, make sure they fit into the feel of the show, and generally deal with production trying to fuck you over and cut costs.

Actually, all of that applies to game and reality shows, except for the family part (hopefully).  In some ways, casting unscripted can be even harder, since you can’t give them a script and see how it sounds.

Game shows live and die by their contestants.  Howie and Regis can carry the conversation only so much.  In the control room, I’ve witnessed countless screaming outbursts from the producers, cursing the casting department and their terrible choices.

Oddly, I don’t recall the producers crediting the casting department for the good contestants…

Reimbursement

Reimbursement

As a PA, I try to be pleasant and accommodating. This used to extend to occasionally using my own credit card for production purposes, on the assumption that I would be reimbursed. No longer.

I was on a show, a real show, with an actual budget. I was told to order sandwiches for the whole crew. Since the coordinator was out at the time, I didn’t have access to the production’s credit card. So, I just placed the order and used my card to hold it. We’d use petty cash to pay for the order when we actually picked up.

But, as it turned out, there was some sort of Jewish holiday at the time (I don’t remember which one, sorry), and a number of producers weren’t allowed to eat bread that day. Why this information was not put to use before I placed the order, I have no idea.

So, I called the sandwich place to cancel. The owner, with an angry and neigh-indecipherable accent, informed me he’d already made the sandwiches. Whether I picked them up or not, he’d be charging me.

I told the coordinator about the situation, and he assured me, “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”

And then he immediately proceeded to… not. I asked and asked for my money (several hundred dollars), and he kept saying he’d get it from the accountant. He had to get permissions from people and things of that sort.

Now, bear in mind, this was a network show. Only a few days earlier, they’d spent $500 on flowers. They didn’t actually need $500 worth of flowers; they needed $50 worth of flowers, but couldn’t decide what color the contestant would like.

So, clearly they had money to burn. I, on the other hand, had just been charged more money than I earn in a week for sandwiches that nobody ate.

I continued to bug the coordinator until I wrapped for the season. I called the office every couple of days, and eventually, he just stopped returning my calls.

Let this be a lesson for you PAs. Never, under any circumstances, use your own money (or credit card), and expect the production to pay you back.

No Pay

Above: The American economy

I received two different, but related, emails in the last few days.

Matt writes:

I’ve been combing Craigs List and Mandy.com for a while and I tend to notice that like, every single ad or call for a PA is indefinitely nonpaying. Is it as if there is some secret club you’re let into after you’ve done a few non paying gigs where you start to find paying gigs? Also, I’ve been roving the internet like crazy trying to find any other jobs that have anything to do with productions. It almost seems as if I made a huge mistake in getting my degree. The reason I say that is that every single entry level position for film or television production I can find is either A.) non paying or B.) an internship. So even if they were paying, they’re looking for college students. Whats a 5 years of experience television station production assistant with a bachelors degree to do?

And Chris asks:

PAing, as you’ve said, is a full-time job, and often the only way to get started is to get on a low/no-budget production before you move on to a paid position.  So how does someone in that position pay the bills (such as student loans that have suddenly come due) when they’re working full-time in an unpaid position?

The answer, in both cases, is suck it up.  This is that time in your (and my) life called, “Paying your dues.”

People survive in a number of ways.  They borrow off credit cards; they live off mommy and daddy (also unfair, I know); they get part time jobs on nights and weekends, filling the rest in with savings; they get married and sponge off their spouse, who has a real job.  (Hi, honey!)

Basically, you do whatever you can, until you actually do get paid.  There’s really just no way around it.  (Mostly.)

Unfortunately, we are paying our dues in a recession.  Everyone is taking pay cuts, from A-list actors to lowly PAs.  People who were getting paid millions are now settling for hundreds of thousands.  Departments heads are seeing their salaries and their budgets slashed.  Those of us who used to get paid next to nothing are now getting paid literally nothing.

It’s completely unfair, but if you decide to pack it up and move back to Michigan (or wherever), take comfort in the fact that no one will notice.  There’s always another PA, ready to take your place.

Casting Called Out

I asked an AD to look over my resume, and make some suggestions. He pointed to two listings for “Casting PA,” both on game shows.

“Get rid of these”

“Why?”

“No one respects the casting department. They don’t do any work. It makes you look lazy.”

Wow.

The thing is, I knew he kinda had a point. I never got paid more for doing less than when I was a casting PA. Basically, I hung around with the contestants, and occasionally shuttled them to wherever they needed to go.

I worked on two different game shows, and in both cases, the casting associates regarded themselves as the cool kids. They didn’t know anybody outside their department, and they didn’t want to know anybody outside.

Another thing I noticed was, a lot of these folks were failed actors and actresses. I guess they spent so much time sitting across from casting directors that they thought, “Hell, I could do that.”

In my time as an office PA, I interacted with casting very little. Mostly, they just called when they needed something. They rarely came by to just hang out, like people from just about every other department. (Even camera!)

Needless to say, I have a pretty negative view of the casting department. But I also recognize that it’s a fairly limited one. Does anybody have any stories that might  change my mind?

Mail Bag

I haven’t kept up with the ol’ mail bag like I should’ve.  Time to play catch up.

Rob writes:

You had mentioned that you walked into an interview and impressed them despite wearing a t-shirt and jeans and being unshaven. You got the job.

Do you have any tips on how to ace an interview? Especially for someone like me who has never worked as a PA before?

Tip one: Shave.  (You too, ladies.)  It was a stupid risk I took, coming in all sloppy.  I’ve done it on another occasion, and I failed miserably.  Don’t mistake a humorous anecdote for actual advice.

Tip two: Do your research.  Figure out who the players are and find something, anything, you can talk to your interviewer about.  There will be small talk, so at least have something prepared.

Tip three: Be friendly. 90% of the interview is to ensure that you’re not creepy or a drooling idiot.  They already liked your resume.  The job is basically yours to lose at this point.

- – -

Ben writes:

I graduated from film school in California last year and have been living in London the past 6 months freelance PAing (on set), mostly working on music videos. I am planning on coming back to California in a matter of a week or two and am beginning to freak out over my lack of contacts in LA (and the fact that 90% of the work I have managed to get since graduation has been in music videos and commercials rather than features or TV, which is where I ultimately want to work).

What I am wondering is how I can best land a job PAing in general, and on pilots this season specifically. Is it too late for me this season? If not, do you suggest cold calling production companies, or is there a better way these days?  I managed to get work over here in the UK by interning unpaid for a production company for a couple weeks, and they began to send jobs my way and threw my name around with their contacts. Is such a plan feasible back home? I don’t usually hear of such internships in LA, so I’m concerned as to how to get going in a new town.

Interning is a great way to make contacts, but you can’t intern without being in school.  It’s against California law to hire someone without paying them; also, there are liability concerns.

As far as how to find jobs, just click the “Finding a Job” category on the right side of the page and read on.

And pilots?  They’re done.  You’re looking for series now.

- – -

Joyce asks:

I’ve been thinking I should get business cards to pass around. Your opinion? And if yes, would it just have my name and contact information?

I’m sort of divided on this.  On the one hand, a business card makes it look like you take yourself way to seriously.  On the other, it gives people you meet something physical to remember you by.

Truth be told, I don’t know of any PAs that do it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work for you.

- – -

Joel writes:

I’m sending in some resumes and cover letters to a bunch of different productions and I was wondering if it is appropriate to specify which department you want to work in.  I’m interested in working in camera– should you call the production office and ask for the camera department and talk to someone with them, or is that not really an option?

The camera department probably doesn’t have a phone.  They’re on a truck.

Every production office I’ve ever worked in collects resumes for all the departments, and I’ve never once seen a department head ask for those resumes.  It’s a weird sort of kabuki we do.

Generally, department heads hire people they know.  The way to get to know a department head is by working in lesser positions and making friends.  It’s why I work in the office, to meet writers.  You should get a set PA job and make friends with the ACs.

- – -

Lastly, Nathan, my second fan, offered me this news:

PA Bootcamp has both of our blogs linked on their homepage now.  I’m not complaining, but WTF?

Cute.  All publicity is good publicity, I guess.

Although, they do list me as “Anonymous Assistant,” when the title of the blog is properly “The Anonymous Production Assistant.”  I registered with WordPress as “anonymousassistant” with the hopes that, someday soon, I would be a writer’s assistant, and the blog’s title could change without affecting the address.

Going further afield of the point, when I first started, googling “anonymous asssistant” would land you with this chick. I wasn’t even on the first 100 pages.  Now, I’m the top hit.  Woohoo!

Anyway.

I received a few emails from Das Bootcamp last month, including one addressed to Nathan.  (They even invited me to meet them at a camp session, seemingly missing the point of the whole “anonymous” thing.)  At my wife’s behest, I discontinued my baiting of the group, and never responded to those e-mails.  Still, in the spirit of today’s post, I present to you those e-mails, in all their glory.

These are, by the way, copy-and-pasted from my inbox.  I’m not going to go and [sic] the hell out of these letters, much as they may deserve it.  Just assume the spelling and grammatical mistakes are the writer’s own.  Or, possibly a secret code activating their sleeper agents trained in a “P.A. Bootcamp.” (Which, I should note, is a misspelling in and of itself.)

From April 7, 7:39 AM–

P.a. Bootcamp Thank you for your posting.

Your negative “opinion” could cost us. But you have the right to it, and if you don’t care about others helpful services who are we to be critical. As long as your readers understand that this is your OPINON and not based on any FACTUAL EXPERIENCE with P.a. Bootcamp, we wish your blog all the best.

You have people however now jumping on the ban bootcamp bandwagon and it will continue to cause a stir. We understand it is getting your blog more attention which is great but it has the potential to hurt others in the process.

Poster JOSH is saying that we go after people who don’t praise us. That isn’t true. We feel unfairly passed judgement on by people who trash us before having any right to. If one of your posters were to attend, find it not worth their time and money than they have every right. Would you say a meal is going to taste bad before trying. Would you day a movie sucks before viewing. Would you comment to a set of parents that having children is a drag to everyone?

If you don’t care and this doesn’t effect you, so be it. We have the right to speak, as much as you do, so we are sharing our thoughts.

Telling you that attending could make a believer out of you, you addressed that on your blog. But then implied that isn’t enough. What would you like? Our staff to not be able to pay rent and bills and provide you all that we teach?
This seems a bit stupid for business sense no?

We’d like suggestions from you. You are so wise at this, how would you go about making P.a. Bootcamp sound worth it? Close up shop and start giving these years of accumulated knowledge from multiple crew members out to people for free? Try for quantity and not quality? Don’t help production, or the A.D.’s just tell everyone the same rule applies to every show and every department? Mislead people who really want to learn?

From April 7, 9:45 AM–

We wanted to take the time to thank you.

Hello. We would like to take the time and thank you for your blog.
You have helped us gain more campers, surprising, with the economy being what it is. As often as blogs do, it stirs interest. We are quite happy with these results. You set out to do that, you have succeeded, and helped our small business in return. Thank you again. We hope we can return the favor some day.

We don’t want to cause any controversy on your blog. We won’t be participating in comment (until we need free press again maybe)
But we wanted to take a minute to thank you.

:)

All the best.

-P.A. BOOTCAMP STAFF www.pabootcamp.com

From April 7, 2:52 PM–

Hello.

I’m assuming this is Nathan,

My name is Charles Canzoneri.  I am not an owner of P.A. Bootcamp, but I do work for them.

Things have quickly turned unfortunate, and rereading the posts, I see it is not entirely your fault.  You initial post contained a flippant comment about the “course guide”, but it appears that reader Josh has really fanned the flames with his remarks.  From there, a couple of members we have on staff to look for internet traffic have taken it upon themselves to protect the company’s interests.

For some, this has become a main source of income during the production slowdown brought on by the current economy and lack of a SAG agreement.  (I’ve been lucky to be working full time on “The Office”.)  That is why the replies from our side have been harshly defensive.  We apologize.

You state that you are traveling and that you may blog about all this.  Before posting a judgement, I would like to invite you to meet with members of our staff, perhaps even during a camp session.  We are a legitimate business whose members work within the Film and television industry in a variety of positions (mostly P.A.’s and A.D.’s.)

Of course, you can post what you wish, and I know you have no control over your readers and their comments.  But I would like you to see the camp for yourself, and ask your questions to us directly about the camp’s content and price.  Maybe we can help you to see (as you put it) “the point.”

When I first heard of P.A. Bootcamp, I was completely unconvinced.  I thought you could train somebody everything they need to know in an hour or two.  I was invited to see the camp and was amazed by how much there is to learn.  And yes, some of it can be learned in a “trial by fire” basis over time.  But with the camp, P.A.’s arrive completely ready to handle the rough sets and the harsh A.D.’s.  They don’t burn the bridge of the first sets they get on.  The camp weeds out people who have the wrong idea about what’s required and how a set really operates.  While everybody retains their own knowledge and learns at their own pace.  There is a definite improvement to a Bootcamp trained P.A. over an untrained one.

After seeing the camp, I was convinced, and asked to help them out.  That was 3 years ago.  The camp is so much better now than it was then.

Charles Canzoneri
P.A. Bootcamp Staff

And again from Chuck, on April 7 at 7:15 PM–

Hello, from Chuck Canzoneri

Wasn’t sure if you received it at my account from work, so I’m using the main Bootcamp computer.

I’m assuming this is Nathan.

My name is Chuck Canzoneri.  I’m not the owner of P.A. Bootcamp and I don’t run it, but I do work for them.

Things have quickly turned unfortunate and rereading the posts, I see it is not entirely your fault.  Your initial post did contain a flip comment about the “course guide”, but it’s the reader/commenter Josh that really fanned the flames with his remarks.  You questioned the need for such a camp, while he called us an outright “scam.”

From there, a couple of members we have on staff that do internet research, email replies, site updates and network traffic watching took it upon themselves to protect the company’s interests.  They even got a couple of former campers to respond.

For some, this business has become a primary source of income during the production slowdown brought on by the current economy and lack of a SAG agreement.  (I’ve been lucky, working full time on “The Office.”)  This is why the replies from our side have been harshly defensive.  We apologize.

You state that you are traveling, but will probably blog about all this.  Before posting judgement, I would like to invite you to meet with members of our staff, perhaps even during a camp session.  We are a legitimate business whose members work within the Film and Television industry in a variety of positions (mostly P.A.’s and A.D.’s).

Of course, you can post what you wish, and I know you have no control over your readers and their comments.  But I would like you to see the camp for yourself, and ask your questions to us directly about the camp’s content and price.  Maybe we can help you to see “the point”, as you put it.

When I first heard of P.A. Bootcamp, I was also completely unconvinced.  I thought you could train somebody everything they need to know in an hour or two.  I was invited to see the camp and was amazed by how much there is to learn, stuff that I just take for granted. (Over 270 terms…we really do speak a different language.)  And yes, some of it can be learned in a “trial by fire” basis over time.  But with the camp, P.A.’s arrive completely ready to handle the rough sets and the harsh A.D.’s.  They don’t burn their bridges on the first sets they day-play on.  They can move into staff positions immediately.

The camp also weeds out people who have the wrong idea about what’s required and how a set operates.  While everybody learns and retains that knowledge at their individual skill level, there’s a definite improvement to a Bootcamp trained P.A. over a completely green one.  Think about a screenwriter.  They don’t need to read “Adventures in The Screen Trade” or “Story” or take Robert McKee’s seminar to write Pulp Fiction.  But there’s a reason why these resources are so popular.  They put your head in the right place so you can deliver what’s expected.

After seeing the camp, I was so convinced that I asked if I could help out.  That was 3 years ago, when they only had around 150 terms and the cost was $175.  P.A. Bootcamp is constantly evolving, and the camp of 3 years ago is a pale shadow to the current incarnation.

Chuck Canzoneri
P.A. Bootcamp Staff

Phew.  Those have been sitting in my in-box for a month, staring at me, pleading to be responded to.  But I think I’ll leave the responses to you, dear readers.

What’s in a Title? – II

“Only in Hollywood would the title “Best Boy” be given to an experienced and highly skilled technician.”

-Someone who’s name I can’t recall.  Terry Pratchett, maybe?

There’s a common title in Hollywood that I’ve always disliked.  (Well, there’s two; I’ve already complained about “talent.”)

“Extras.”  It’s so demeaning.  They’re already getting paid less than PAs to basically be set dressing.  They’re forced to sit in holding pens like animals.  Their job is mind-numbingly dull, and pretty much everyone on the crew assumes they’re morons, or thieves, or both.  (They often are, but that’s beside the point.)

Do we have to call them “extra,” too?  At a certain point, an AD told me not to call them “extras” at all, but rather “background actors.”  That seems more fair, to me.  At least it’s acknowledging that they do something.

Some might say this is pretentious, elevating their position to “acting.”  But then again, I don’t really consider acting to be that impressive, so I’m okay with that.  :)