Do Not Read Wannabetvwriter

I haven’t engaged in a flame war in a little while, so, in an effort to boost my stats, I decided to start one.

I suggest you do not read wannabetvwriter’s blog.  She is a script coordinator that I don’t believe you’ll find to be either funny or insightful.  Certainly not this recent post, where she freely admits to indecent exposure in public.

Please do not click on any of the above links. You won’t be amused or interested at all.  You should also not click on the link in my blogroll.  (How did that even get there?)

Links, Links, and More Links

I received a very lovely email today, from Heather of Howcast.com:

Your blog makes me laugh, and reminds me why I ran far from set work…It’s not easy! Although, the “There’s Always Someone Below You” post made me happy….it’s *not* easy, but it has its rewards for sure.

Anyway, I figure as a PA, you may already make your own films and videos or you may know lots and lots of PAs who do, and we’re launching a pretty cool contest this week — the How-To Video Challenge. We’re asking filmmakers, video artists, and DIYers to come up with a fresh, original approach to the how-to video.

First prize is $2000. We’ve got awesome judges lined up — Peter Baxter, Slamdance Film Festival; Jeff Cooperman, The Colbert Report; Charles Merzbacher, Boston University; Katherine Sharpe, ReadyMade Magazine; Tim Sullivan, Magical Elves (Project Runway, Top Chef). And, the top submissions will be showcased across online, mobile and off-line platforms.

The contest is the perfect opportunity for us to reward the creativity of the filmmakers we work with and to challenge a whole new community of film and video makers and DIYers.

Here are all the links entrants need to get started:

The How-To Video Challenge…Knock our socks off. We dare you.
Guidelines.
Rules.

Thanks so much!

-Heather
Managing Producer, Emerging Filmmakers Program
Howcast Media

Heather didn’t know it at the time, but I’m actually already one of Howcast’s “Emerging Filmmakers.” I won’t tell you which one, of course.  :)

It’s actually a pretty cool program. They give you a script and voice over (along with a nice little music library), and all you have to do is shoot whatever you want. Some of the how to videos are funny, some are straight forward, but they’re all pretty good. Plus, you get fifty bucks out of the deal, so I highly recommend it.

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While I’m linking to other sites, here’s a few more:

MIT has done a fantastic study as to why traffic jams happen.

Last week, On the Media interview the guy who created Tetris. You have to listen to the audio; the guy sounds exactly like Yakov Smirnoff.

In Soviet Russia, meme perpetuates you.

And lastly, Rod Hilton has finally gotten around to writing his abridged script of Star Trek, making the ten thousandth lens flare joke since the movie was released.

New Year’s Links

Like many Americans, I’m busy looking for a job.  I’m just more used to it than most.

So, instead of writing a real post, here’s some links!

Cracked has the most inspirational, patriotic piece of writing I’ve read in a long, long time.

Ken Levine complains about Standards & Practices, as well he should.  He also thinks he can save the industry:

Eliminate all the middle-tier development people. Both in the feature and television world. Here’s why: They don’t DO ANYTHING. They give notes. They clog up the system. They homogenize things. For the most part they’re obstructionists. Proven screenwriters and showrunners don’t need some 2006 graduate of Sarah Lawrence telling them how to fix their projects.

I’ve heard this complaint so many times that I am genuinely curious why there are middle-tier development execs.  They must serve some purpose, right?

The Hollywood Juicer has a great post about the state of the industry, the potential SAG strike in particular.

Tim Harford has an interesting post about being happy by association.  On the other hand, you should listen to a recent episode of This American Life, called “Ruining it for the Rest of Us.”

And lastly, fuck the metric system.  (Side note: the 14cm is totally wrong.)

Links in the Chain

WordPress has some neat features (much more so than Blogger or, God help us, Myspace, both of which I’ve used).  My favorite, besides the chart showing me how many readers I have, is the “referrers” tool.  I’m not sure how this is different than “incoming links;” if someone knows, please explain it to me.

Anyway, I find a lot of new websites and blogs, thanks to this tool.  I also get an idea of who’s reading about me, which is always fun.

For instance, there’s David Schulman’s “something for the kids.” It turns out there are many aspiring writers who blog out there.  Who knew?  (By the way, David, I’m not a part of the film industry bloggers.  Their PA posts sporadically, and has a picture that implies she wants to do strange things to me with her coffee.)

There’s also A TV Calling, which features intelligent discussions of the art and business of television.  Here’s a few ideas about how to improve TV.

Lastly, I’m starting to get tagged on Facebook, which is kinda cool.  I guess now I can get that, “I’m famous on Facebook!” T-shirt I’ve been eyeing.  Thanks, Summer and Jennifer!  (I know I’ve asked this before, but seriously, why does someone in San Fransisco or West Virginia care about this page?)

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On an unrelated note, Halloween is coming up this week, as those of you with calendars may know.  Like every year, I’m having trouble coming up with a costume.

I’ve really only had two clever ones in my life.  One was Clark Kent, which basically involved putting on a glasses and a suit, with a Superman T-shirt underneath.  Everyone once in a while, I would pretend to hear something, rip open my shirt, and run away.

The other was Lenny, from Memento.  A friend wrote all over me with a sharpie.  Then, I walked around the party with a Polaroid camera and introduced myself to everyone over and over again.  One guy got the joke, and gave me a different name every time.  I still don’t know what his real name is.

I did come up with a funny one for a friend of mine.  She’s Mexican and her boyfriend’s white, so I suggested they dress up like a a Minuteman and an illegal immigrant, with her as the Minuteman.

Anyway.  If you’ve got any cool ideas, please let me know, so I don’t have to go as an anonymous blogger.

Adventures of Link

Another anonymous film blogger has linked to last Friday’s post, for which I’m very grateful, since, like Ben “Yahtzee” Crowshaw, my self esteem directly correlates with the number of readers I have on any given day.  (This was particularly sad in the early days of the blog, when I averaged around eight readers daily, two to three of which were me checking my spelling, one was my wife humoring me, with the remainder being people searching for “porn ranch.”)

In the same spirit of Mystery Man’s linking magnanimity, here’s a few blogs I’ve enjoyed lately:

First up, of course, is MM himself, who offers us a nice dissertation on why we should buy yet another version of the most over-rated film of all time. (Seriously, what’s so deeply symbolic about an orange representing death?  It seems more arbitrary, to me.)

I’m also enjoying one of his recommendations– the Burbanked Movie Blog worries about the state of blockbuster storytelling, while erroneously suggesting Zack Snyder has been making video games (see my annoyed comments at the bottom).

The American Dream is Dead blog is awesome in the same way that Real Ultimate Power was, before they sold out, in that it’s unclear whether this is the work of a brilliant satirist or a deranged teenager. (I find ambiguity funny.)

Lastly, if you’re trying to get your hands on the UTA job list, this blog may change your mind.

Okay, that’s enough filler for today.  Tomorrow’s blog: yet another reason why actors suck.

On an Unrelated Note…

I’ve just been looking at my incoming links (I like to see what people are searching for when they find my site), and two questions sprang to mind.

Who’s been searching for “0000001000000110000001000000110000001000000100000010000001,” and, upon doing so, why did they decide The Anonymous Production Assistant Blog must be the site they’re looking for?

By the way, welcome everybody who followed the link from Nikki Finke’s comments section. I hope the racist talk from today’s earlier post didn’t put you off.